Oli, the Tumor

I haven’t been posting anything with much depth recently- there’s been a lot going on, so the last thing I feel that I want to do is pour my soul into my blog posts.  I feel that I need to share something.

I found out yesterday morning that one of my good friends from university (in Missouri) has a brain tumor.  I haven’t spoken to her in years, but every so often I try a number that I’ve been given for her, or an email address in hopes of finally finding her, we hadn’t managed to connect up until yesterday afternoon.  Then I get this news.

I’m stunned when I hear it, and I have a hard time believing it.  She has a web site where people can go and read about her story and follow her along as she goes through her treatments, and as I read it, it becomes more and more clear that I’ve missed something this big, and haven’t been there for her.  As I was reading along I found that friends of mine, who I’m in regular contact with had commented in her guest book back in October. I don’t understand why they weren’t able to say anything to me.  We had been attached at the hip for our first year of University- if I was spotted without her, I’d be asked “Where’s your other half?”  It wasn’t like we were half ass friends who when one gets sick, we all of a sudden pretend we had been their best friend.

So what do I do? I called her obviously- I’ve been trying not to cry over it- you know when you hold in tears because you know when they come, they’re going to pour for days.  She was just chatting to me about how the doctors gave her 5 months to live- but she thinks it could be five years- there’s no solid research as the tumor she has is so rare.  It’s insane that she’s been going through this whole thing, but the one thing from our conversation that stands out is her optimism and her spirit.  She was searching for words a lot during our conversation as her short term memory has been affected, and she’d be saying to herself “Oh, I’m so stupid I can’t remember anything” then I would hear her mom in the background “Did you tell her you have a brain tumor? You’re not stupid”, it wasn’t in a negative way- they were both kind of laughing about it and I guess the situation they found themselves in.

She said to me “Adrien, I’ve never been happier in my life.  I’m living at home with my parents, I’m bald and I have a brain tumor, but I’ve never been happier.  I could care less about the clothes I wear, the car I drive, how much money I’m going to make.  I don’t know, I just take each day as it comes and go with it, you know?!”

I love her. She even named her tumor Oli, after the kind it is.  She’s amazing and funny, and I can’t believe such a shitty thing can happen to such a wonderful person.

I just wanted to share- I’ve been thinking about it a lot- every food post seems stupid with this on my mind.

I’m trying to figure out a time to head down to STL for a visit, but until I talk to her mom, I’ll be unsure as to when or how soon that will happen.

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4 thoughts on “Oli, the Tumor

  1. oh my god. i’m so so sorry to hear about your friend, that is awful. but it sounds like she is handling it with so much grace and humor, that’s really inspiring. the scary thing is each and every one of us could die today or tomorrow, we’ll never know until the time comes! so while she has been given this horrible prognosis, you never know. she could stick around for years to come and surprise all the docs! all you can do is show her you love her and enjoy however much time you guys get to have together. i’m thinking of you adrien! and wow can’t believe your other friend didn’t tell you about this!

  2. I’m very sorry to hear about your friend. I’m not sure what to even type here…I hope she keeps enjoying every moment of every day and I hope you get to see her soon. You’re in my thoughts.

  3. I’m so sorry, Adrien. I’m not sure what to say other than I’ll be thinking about you and your friend. Its great that you have been able to catch up with her and hopefully a visit is in the works. Hang in there!

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