I am a fitness addict.
I’ve been active all my life, it wasn’t until recently though that I realized the importance of balancing healthy activity with a healthy diet.
When I was 17 I went to play NCAA sports, college life for me was always go, go, go; of course I gained a little bit of weight. Between the cafeteria food and the party lifestyle, things started to add up, and it wasn’t just the pounds. I was unhappy, and I thought it was all because of my weight, so what does one do? They start to lose weight.
Losing weight was by no means a quick fix for happiness. There are the struggles, the ups and the downs. I eventually dropped out of school with what my doctor called at the time “disordered eating” and “depression” (those are in quotes because I thought he was a fool). There was no way, I, a healthy fit coastal girl from Canada could possibly fit into those two categories, so I said F*** you, and F*** this.
I ended up leaving school a very, very angry girl. I tried what felt like everything to find happiness, I ran a marathon, I got a boyfriend, worked a million different jobs, they still didn’t make me happy. I then found myself backpacking around Australia a week after my marathon thinking to myself, “well, now that I’m not running, I can’t very well eat. I’ll get fat.” The number one fear in my life was that I would get fat, thinking back on it, it’s crazy, but I know in my mind, that it was the reality of my life.
I never learned about proper nutrition and energy needs, or if I did, my fear of becoming fat blocked that bit of knowledge out. I came home from Australia standing tall at 5 foot 9 and only weighing 110lbs. I thought I was fine, just needed to balance things out, but the truth was that I was far from fine. I ended up losing another 16lbs and found myself in the hospital for 3months. Gaining that first pound was agony. It took me ten full months to gain enough weight to be at a healthy BMI and another 6months in intensive therapy to be ok being at that BMI.
Today, I’ve been at a healthy weight of 135lbs for a full year. My struggle was not an easy one to overcome. It’s still not an easy one to overcome. I’m a fitness trainer by trade, losing weight is the business I’m in, but it’s no longer my weight.
I’ve found happiness in helping others find health and wellness and have a vast knowledge of food and nutrition that compliments me as a trainer. So Fitness Addict? Although it sounds unhealthy, it’s true to who I am, I love to move. I love to be healthy, and I want other people to know that you can survive an eating disorder, still be healthy and love to exercise. The only difference is that this time around, it’s in balance.